Today was yet again another improvement for Travis. He was breathing on his own for another hour and a half. They don’t want to push him too much, so they are weaning him slowly. Select Rehab will be the ones to wean him completely off, then he’ll be able to go back to a skilled nursing facility. Rose is still thinking of going back to Murfreesboro. Insurance hasn’t responded to Select, so most likely, Travis will still be at the ICU tomorrow but plans on moving him out are in the works. It could be Thursday or Friday. If you have Rose’s number, give her a call before visiting to make sure they’re still there. 

Travis didn’t sleep well last night so he was pretty tired while I was there today, but that didn’t stop him from working hard. We were able to remove the mitt and both restraints today without any incidents. He relaxed his arms when asked but enjoyed showing off by putting his arms over his head and touching his nose. He has great range in his shoulders. His elbows don’t completely straighten, but the muscles and tendons are so tight that it’s going to be awhile before they go completely straight. He’s able to straighten his pinky and pointer finger. You do that now and tell me what you get…that’s right. \m/ How fitting. I stretched his wrists, elbows, shoulders on his upper body, and I straightened his legs as far as they would go. They’re both pretty contracted as he likes to keep his knees bent and hips twisted to the right. I straightened out his hips and legs as best as I could and rigged pillows to keep his legs in position. He tolerated that for a good awhile and kept them that way when I left. His tendons are so tight underneath his knees. He’s able to move his ankles freely and followed directions really well to move them. No matter how hard I push him, he still smiles and still gets excited about how well he’s doing. He loved having those restraints off, that’s for sure. He was happy to have two friends stop by as well. 

His temperature dropped below normal due to dehydration. They had taken fluids off thinking he’d be leaving soon but put them back on along with his warming blanket….which is essentially a big plastic bag that blows up. I wanted to say “Violet, you’re turning violet, Violet.” He was a bubble boy! I left after that, but Brooke is heading up there around 8 for the late night visit. 

I wasn’t going to go by today, but I couldn’t stay away. I was at the park with my friend Kenny and my dog, Lola. I was right there, so why wouldn’t I just stop in and see how things were going? I asked Kenny if he’d like to accompany me. He’d heard of Travisfest but didn’t really know the full details of everything that had happened and everything that was currently going on. I filled him in, and he was down to meet this kid that all of Nashville knew and fought for. Kenny walked in, and I think the connection was almost instant. Travis was alert and responding appropriately to questions. He was smiling and showing his teeth and sticking out his tongue. He was able to listen to some music from Kenny’s band and liked it! (I told him he didn’t have to lie, but he doesn’t….he does NOT like Panic! at the Disco I found out, but of course, loves Coheed and Cambria).

I want to let Kenny speak for himself, but after we visited Travis, he was hooked. He’s been posting stuff about Travisfest, and we’ve had extensive conversations about his recovery and fight. He even was able to make it to Rocketown to be in the video they filmed for Travisfest 5 (April 23, Rocketown). I went home that night and made a 95 song playlist of updated music to play while visiting Travis. 

Imagine not really having new music from the past 3 years. The kid has some catching up to do. 

For me, it all began with Twitter. Rocketown posted a tweet saying “Don’t care if you pray or not, right now, put whatever it is aside and say a prayer for Travis Morgan & his family. He needs strength.” I immediately texted people trying to figure out what had happened. You see, I hadn’t seen much/heard much about Travis in the past few months. I figured he was steadily moving along. In fact, in all my naivety, I even assumed he may have been at home. How little I knew. Brooke finally texted me, and we figured out that things had taken a very serious turn. It turns out that Travis had aspirated at the skilled nursing facility that he had been at for the past few months. For those of you who aren’t sure, aspirating is when fluid or some other object goes into your lungs (essentially choking without coughing so no one really knows you’re choking, really scary stuff). This often causes aspiration pneumonia, which you can guess is an infection of the lungs post-aspiration. The type of aspiration Travis experienced this time around happened from the poor placement of a G-tube (his feeding tube) into his stomach. It was placed too high causing fluid to go into his lungs and cause an infection. Now, I know what all of you are thinking, and I’ll stop you now. You can’t sue the nursing facility and here’s why: they are covered. Medical facilities have the best lawyers and laws protecting them. They can use such excuses as his stomach muscles moving it, 1 in so many tubes are placed wrong, and so on and so forth. Not to mention, fighting that would be ridiculously expensive and very stressful. Does the family really need all of that? Probably not, and so Rose has taken the higher road and hoping for the best out of this whole situation. (Side note: this is the strongest mother I have ever encountered)

So here we are, it’s Tuesday, and we get the news “They’re debating on pulling him off life support.” I left work. I picked Brooke up from work, and we rushed to the hospital to say what we thought would be “Goodbye.” I thought about all of the times I could’ve visited him, and I didn’t. I thought of all of the times I could’ve even asked someone how he was doing, and here it was, all I could say was that I was sorry for not being around and goodbye. We made it to his room, and surprisingly, found that he was pretty stable. He was quiet, didn’t move much or respond so we sat and talked to his mom. She explained everything that had happened and that she and Travis weren’t ready to stop fighting. She explained that he’d be getting a trach in his throat tomorrow and that’d he’d be put on a ventilator to help him breathe. The last time he was on a ventilator, it took 5 months to wean him off, so they were limited to what facilities would accept him.

At this time, I was able to breathe a little easier. This wasn’t goodbye. We had all gotten a second chance to be there for Travis. Rose told us that it’d been 6 months since any friends had visited him. I, and others, are determined not to ever let that happen again. As we left and said goodbye, Travis’s arms went up and he turned his head. He was still there. There was absolutely no way he could leave just yet, and there was absolutely no way we were all done with him yet. I heard a big group stopped by later and got him smiling and giving thumbs up. 

Best news I’ve heard this week. Rose called and said Travis has been breathing on his own for 2 hours now. I came up to the hospital, but they had already put him back on the ventilator. The respiratory therapist came in later to pull the ventilator off again and put on a collar that will has a little dome that goes over his trach filled with oxygen, but Travis has to work to breathe it in on his own. He did this for an hour and a half with only one incident. We were listening to You Me at Six, and he had his eyes closed, which is normal, but I looked up at his vital signs and saw his respirations go from 8 to 4 to 1.. pretty rapidly. I yelled “Travis! Breathe!” and hit his arm. It startled his eyes open and he took some deep breaths shooting his respirations up to 25. We actually had a laugh from it once he calmed down, and I told him he had to focus on breathing! Sucks, but later on when he dozed off, he was able to maintain the breathing so I don’t know what in the world he was doing.

While listening to music (Bayside, Whitechapel, You Me at Six, Four Year Strong), I took his boxing glove off his hand. He needs a break from it every now in then. He curls up his fingers into a fist and they end up fixed that way, making it difficult to stretch them. He also gets skin breakdown on his wrist from where it stays on him. If you’ve seen his left wrist, you know what I’m talking about. After having medical bracelets and restraints rubbing in one spot, a sore comes up, which is now healing, so breaks are good when he’s calm and compliant (and not yanking at the trach). Even allowing his fingers to breathe is better than nothing. I’d stretch his fingers out, and he’d pull my hand up to his mouth and give it a kiss. So sweet, even through all of this, and such a flirt. Has anything really changed? Haha. I stretched and worked his ankles and legs. He’s able to move them on his own when prompted. He can raise his arms above his head, but I try to avoid doing this too much as his lines get pulled when he gets excited at his progress and goes higher with more force. (sidenote: Travis doesn’t like American Me, or didn’t want to listen to it in that moment because when they came on, he shook his head “No” and started hitting his elbow against the bedrail. Then again, he could’ve just been trying to rage.)

Via Twitter, I found out Jesse and Kerry were coming. Select hadn’t been by for an evaluation yet and sure enough, when the boys showed up, so did she. We sat in the waiting room but came back to very good news. They had accepted him (as long as insurance goes through). His facility allows for 24 hour visitation, a private room, and they don’t think they’ll be keeping him very long since he’s recovering so quickly in the ICU. Jesse, Kerry, and their friend Kyle stayed for a little while, and Autumn showed up in that time. It was so cute seeing them interact. He responds to her voice and sticks his tongue out at her. I left for a work meeting but came back later with Kenny. Travis was exhausted but as usual, in good spirits and listening to Coheed. He was breathing on his own again, and this would make it 5 hours without the ventilator on for the day. Breathing is hard work when you haven’t had to do it on your own in 4 days. He did really well when we left him last night, he didn’t want us to leave but refrained from any tantrums, and I’m hoping he just fell right to sleep after such a long day.

I encourage all of you to see him. He’s fighting for all of you, for all of his friends. If you haven’t had the chance to go see him, please do. He’ll be moving to Select Specialty hospital on Wednesday. It’s at the corner of 20th and Hayes. He loves visitors, and he misses all of you. He gets so excited to hear that someone is coming to visit him. His eyebrows go up and he raises his arms. When you walk in, you’ll see. He’ll turn his head to your voice and get his arms going. He likes to show off, so he may kick his legs or flash you that sweet smile. Also, having a live webcam at Travisfest is in the works so he can hear it going on as it’s happening. Any help or advice on doing this would be appreciated, especially if you work at Rocketown. 

This is going to be a long post:

It’s Sunday. I could only steal about 30 minutes with Travis before having to head out to Murfreesboro. He had just been bathed and had his hair washed, so he was smelling and looking good. Jesse had been by earlier today and couldn’t stay long. Kerry had stopped in and stayed an extra 30 minutes because Travis became upset hearing of his departure. When I left today, he was notably upset. I couldn’t give him a hug because of the way his lines and trach were in the way, so he was agreeable with a kiss on the cheek. Such a sweet kiss, but it set him off. He may have been confused as to why his friends came and stayed for such short visits, or he may have just been agitated.

There’s a recovery scale for coma and brain injury patients, and they enter these different stages in order during recovery. I’ll go over them now, and you’ll see how he fits into it. If any of you saw him during his 5 month coma post-accident, you most likely saw him as a Level I on the Ranco Los Amigos scale. Level I brain injury/coma patients have no response. That’s it, they don’t respond to light, touch, sound, or movement. At Level II, Travis would begin to show a generalized response. He would just begin to respond to the above stimuli, but slowly and inconsistently. Level III: Localized response. Travis would be awake on and off during the day, he would make more movements and begin reacting more to outer stimuli, such as turning to sound or reacting aversive to pain. He starts recognizing family and friends and follow simple, one command, directions. At Level IV, Travis would be confused and agitated. Now, this is the level doctors think Travis is in now. I disagree thinking he is going between IV and V (confused-non agitated). He’s agitated for good reason, not just to be agitated. Saying goodbye is hard for anyone to do, let alone someone who has to stay in a hospital who didn’t even get to see friends for months, of course he’s wondering “Are they coming back..?” and starts to throw a fit. Not to mention that tube sticking out his throat, I’d be pretty mad, too. I’ll explain the difference between Level IV and V, and you can see how Travis is further up on the scale at V. Level IV: Travis would appear to be very confused and frightened. He wouldn’t understand what was going on around him and how he feels, which may lead to him overreacting to what’s going on around him: thrashing around, hitting, or screaming. These spells happen every so often with him, not all of the time. He wouldn’t be able to pay attention for more than a few seconds and have difficulty following directions. He would recognize friends and family some of the time, and he would have to be restrained so he doesn’t hurt himself. Travis hits some but not all of these. He’s more with it than he seems to get credit for, and when he’s feeling well, he’s extremely content, stays with us in conversation, and follows directions very well. Here’s level V, which he falls more under unless he’s having a fit over his trach or feeling uncomfortable, so I’ll use it in the present tense. At Level V, Travis is able to pay attention for a few minutes. He shows signs of confusion and difficulty making sense of things outside of himself, such as the date or why he’s in the hospital. If completing physical tasks, he would need step-by-step directions (i.e. brushing his teeth) He becomes restless when overloaded or when there’s too many people around. Compare that to being really stressed out, too many people in your face and too much going on around you, which you’re not all that sure of to begin with anyways.

So you can see, Travis kind of hovers between Levels IV and V. It’s hard to really assess what he truly knows due to his lack of/poor vision and nonverbal communication. He’s able to answer yes and no, and pick between two things using his arms. He just requires time to process. He can differentiate between left and right. He’s really strong, too. I worry about doing any strengthening therapy on him since he put ice on a nurse’s shoulder one night…hmm… I’ll stick to stretching and range of motion for now. 

I’m getting attached to him. Every day is something new, and it’s always an improvement. He’s changing my life. He makes you want to live and do things. I don’t want to waste anymore time. I wonder if I was in his position if I would be happy with what I had done with my life, I couldn’t answer that with a yes. There’s so much more I want to do both in my life and my career, and I’m making those changes now. You only get to live life once, and it’s so cliche, but it’s so true. You can make mistakes, but you don’t have to live in those mistakes. It’s how you react to them and make a change the directs the course of your life, not those mistakes alone. Sorry to get so deep, but that’s how I feel, and I think that’s how everyone who knows him and has interacted with him, even if just this past week, feel.

Select Rehab will be in tomorrow to evaluate him to see about him coming to their facility. Cross your fingers, it’s right next to Baptist, and one facility of about 2 in the Nashville area that will take someone on a trach and ventilator. 

It’s raining. I went with Brooke this time to see Travis today. She brought Chad who had only known him from shows but never really known him. This was the 2nd time in one week that I got to experience the impact Travis had on people who barely knew him. It’s inspiring. They see his fight, and they only want to see him get better, to improve and beat all the odds that the doctors have against him. They love interacting with him, even if it’s a simple yes or no question. They feel acknowledged and happy to be in his presence. Travis was able to tell it was Brooke who was visiting him and naturally the subject of conversation turned to boobs…..and that heartrate spiked. He’s been steady at about 50 beats per minute. The average adult heartrate is about 60-80 beats per minute which they’d like him that. We got him there. His average respirations are around 15 breaths per minute, the average being 12 breaths per minute. He spiked at about 25. He is all boy, and he is all there with it. He claims not to flirt with his nurse, but then smiles. We all know the truth.

We had a good visit with him, then left, which once again, he’s never happy about. Kenny and I grabbed dinner, and we picked something up for Rose since she’d been eating pizza the past few days. When we got back, it was very obvious that Travis was not happy. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his lips were slightly apart and grinding his teeth. Earlier in the day, he had been moving his lips trying to talk. This time, he was moving his lips and I think he was cussing at us or asking for some help. We tried to straighten him up in the bed. He was slumped so low and his lungs and stomach were being impacted by his positioning. His nurse, Martha, came in and we adjusted him further up in the bed. He still wasn’t comfortable. The trach looked like it was bothering him, his stomach hurt, he just wasn’t having a good time. We left shortly after so he could rest, and it was honestly hard to see him like that and not be able to help him. He’s always in such a good mood and in good spirits, and I like seeing him that way. I had nightmares that night about him being uncomfortable, which of course in my head turned into something worse. I knew I’d be back come Sunday. 

Today, I stopped in to see Travis. It was about a 2 hour visit since starting around 3:30. He does really well between 3 and 6, so that’s a primetime visit. Kenny texted me saying he’d be up around 5:30 so we could go running. (It never happened, we got pizza instead). Once again, Travis was more alert, still responding appropriately. They had tried to remove the trach to allow him to breathe on his own, but after a few short breaths, they had to put it back on.Trial and error, Travis was trying, but his lungs weren’t having it today. The good news was that after an X-Ray, his lungs were looking clearer. His saliva was clear and everything he coughed up was clear. The infection wasn’t as strong as it had been. Travis was fighting it. (shocker, I know). What he was fightingthat he shouldn’t was that he had a trach in. It’s uncomfortable, and the stitches start to itch. They put a mitt on him that somewhat resembles a boxing glove that keeps his fingers covered so that he can’t pull his lines. With Travis, even the arm restraints couldn’t hold him back. Where’s there’s a will, there’s a way, and he found it by slumping his body over near his knees so he hand could reach the lines and pull at them. After 6 times, it was decided to put the mitt on.

We left that night once visiting hours were over. Tonight, I got my first hug from Travis in 3 years.We loved his nurse, Martha. She was so sweet (and hot, and we let Travis know so he could put his game face on).